Santa Impersonator CV

"Hi I've come to hand in my CV. I heard that the old Santa Claus is retiring and I think I'm the perfect candidate. Here you go." "Sir, I'm sorry, but...". "I've studied at the University of Lapland, I'm very good at using the sleigh and I've got an outrageous beard, look, you can touch it, I promise, it's not fake." "Sir, what I want to tell you is that we are looking for a Santa Claus for the mall, the real one is still operational, delivering illusion to the children." "Ah, well, in that case...". "No, no, we are hiring you. You have a spectacular CV, I love the design! Slidesgo?" "Yes...".